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Change

Many things in life are prone to change, many for better, some for worse, but all for a reason. Change has been a big feature in my life for the last 4 or 5 years. Louise and I have moved to our 7th flat together (in about 5 years), with one more move planned after that. I’ve changed jobs 4 times in 3 years (although two were redundancies), and my whole outlook on life has changed dramatically (if you really need to know).

I now crave stability, or at least I think I do. What if it has been the constant flux of life that has kept me going, kept my mind active, my soul alive? I long to settle down, get a house (a back garden!) and start creating a home. I long to get my career started properly, instead of just gaining experience. Most of all I long to create a constant space. A place which isn’t and will not be affected by change.

But – what if?

You cannot, and I refuse to, let ‘what ifs’ rule your life, but they are always there, and it does frighten me. I know I want to travel more, so what if settling down will make me feel trapped? We will start a family within the next year or two, but what if the arrival of another person, another responsibility, makes the binding of home, the lessening of change, even stronger? What if….?

But change is good. I know it is. Changes in me.

Not even a year ago, the ‘what ifs’ would have won. The worry of uncertainty (the certainty of chance), would have prevailed, and manifested itself into hate and depression. But not now. The very thing I once worried over, dwelt on, that dragged me down, is no longer the enemy, it is the saviour, the redemption.

We have no control over the future, no matter how hard we might try. Every choice has its repercussions, and whilst everyone must be considered, the ripple effect is unstoppable. We cannot control it, and we should not try. Change makes life interesting, for good or bad. Without change we wouldn’t live, we would only exist, and I can think of no fate worse.

To be robbed of the life that change brings would surely be the cruelest torture. The monotony of routine, slowly choking. Differences, changes are what intrigues us all, the differences in thought, action and deed. All of these are changes, and all of these provide life, provide experience, provide stimulation. They nurture our minds and souls, and create changes within ourselves.

Many things in life are prone to change, many for better, some for worse, but all for a reason.




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Bang

The world is shrinking, so my next comments aren’t as misplaced as they seem, is that an excuse?

Yet another shooting in America. Yet more calls for tighter controls, or complete bans. More arguments about free speech, and the right to bear arms (bare arms?).

Guns don’t kill people, people kill people

How stupidly small-minded, frighteningly short-sighted can people be? Is it just me? OK I know it’s not, but don’t these people realise what they are saying? Of course, strictly speaking they are correct, I could have a gun and never use it to kill people – but the counter-argument is so obvious.

It is our right as American citizens

I will admit to a not complete understanding of American political and legal systems, and yes I agree, free speech and an individuals rights should be protected. Shooting people is not an individual activity though is it? It requires the, unwilling, participation of other people, where’s their choice, their rights?

The view that drifts across the Atlantic is that the American government is bowing to the pressure of the gun lobby. So who, exactly, is running the country? And what is the real aim? In today’s political culture I thought it was all about votes? Which has the larger share of votes – the recreational gun users? or the scared public? Or is money the real issue?

Surely the aim has to be to remove guns from society all together. A change in society is much needed, a move away from fear, away from violence. I long to visit America, but is it really that safe? Is sensationalist journalism spoiling my view?

The right to express yourself has been taken too far, and is used as an excuse for many different groups and activists in America. Something needs to be done. Free speech should remain just that.




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Attraction

“You’ll like her, she has amazing eyes”

Attraction is not a static, well, not entirely, and it comes in various states:

  • attraction to beauty
  • attraction to personality
  • attraction to lust
  • attraction to like
  • attraction to opposite
  • and many more.

Most people single out a few characteristics, for me it’s eyes. There is something bewitching about some people’s eyes, a certain quality that I find difficult to qualify or explain. Of course, there is more to it than that, attraction comes as a package and that package is never definite.

Physical attraction, or idolisation, is based wholly on physical attributes. I have never met Helena Christiansen, but she is the most stunning woman I have ever seen. Similarly, Lisa Nicole Carson fascinates me, yet I know very little about her as a person (but man, she can act sexy!). Physical attraction is driven by base instinct, lust, want. There are many aspects to this, and, as with any attraction, personal preferences differ wildly. I can never specify whether I’m a leg-man, breast-man, etc etc, as I’m never that specific. It’s not that I’m not fussy or demanding, it’s just that I tend to take in the whole picture, style, shape, attitude, and manner, from that I create a picture of the person, and the cortex activity thing kicks in, either to say ‘Hmmmm, she’s nice’ or to make me forget about her the instant I look away.

Of course, physical attraction is on a par (well slightly lower) with flirting, it’s OK to look – and I mean glance, not stare or ogle.
In everyday life, attraction has to be more.

Everyday attraction, is more than a glance at an attractive man or woman, it is based on the person as a whole. Their personality as well as their looks. I am constantly amazed at how often a personality will mask physical attributes, and I suppose that is true attraction. Now, this is not to say that everyday attraction isn’t physically based, more that it builds on the foundations of personal attraction.

Why do you like the people you do? Why do you find person X more attractive than person Y? Only you can answer that, and that’s what makes attraction so unique, and let’s face it…well you know the cliche.




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