Grooming
Monday, January 23, 2006 ~ Comments Off
Recently, Adrian of Sevitz admitted to spending a lot of money getting his hair and nails done and it got me thinking. Now, I’m the type of guy who still visits a barber, refuses to pay more than £10 for a haircut – my last haircut cost £6 instead of £8 because “let’s be honest love, there’s not that much left to cut” – and when my wife points out that my back is getting a little hirsute my only thought is if that is the reason I’m always so warm.
I do ‘groom’ though. I moisturise most days as I’m prone to dry skin and I am regularly attacked by a woman wielding a pair of tweezers determined to make sure my eyebrows don’t go Denis Healey on me. The same woman also takes far too much pleasure plucking hairs from my back and arms whilst muttering at me to “stop being such a wuss” when I moan and scream as the follicles are wrenched from their very comfortable resting place deep under my skin. It’s a wonder I’m not a mass of bleeding red welts once she’s finished. There is a side issue concerning the amount of glee and pleasure my wife takes in inflicting pain on me but I’ll leave that for another time.
Aside from that I don’t really bother that much with my appearance. In days gone by, when the majority of my hair was on my head not growing from increasingly weird places on my body, I took great pride in my appearance spending tens of minutes in front of the mirror each morning to make sure it was all neatly in place. In fact I wonder if it’s due to the incessant attack from a variety of mousses, gels, hairspray and wax that caused the hair on my head to decide to surrender and fall out. Back in the day I used to judge the amount of hairspray I was apply to my ‘spike’ (think ‘hedgehog’) by when it started to drip… ick.
These days it’s much more acceptable for men to partake in all manner of grooming rituals, and of course this is being promoted by most of the big cosmetic companies with new pre-shave, post-shave, and after-shower lotions are seemingly launched everyday.
However there is still a distinct feel that this isn’t wholly accepted yet.
I’ve often thought that you can judge the progress of acceptance, of pretty much anything, quite simply (as far as any simplistic scale can be applied to anything of course) as it passes from:
- Complete ignorance – doesn’t exist, isn’t discussed and is consider evil
- Outright indignance – know to exist but vilified and ridiculed in the harshest terms
- Admission of existence – tolerated to a point, stereotyped.
- Complete acceptance – it’s the norm, it’s bland
Male grooming, even to just ‘below’ metrosexual standards is probably around the fourth stage. It’s tolerated but with the understanding that there is definitely something not quite right about it, that ‘real men’ wouldn’t really be caught doing it. But then what do ‘real men’ know? Bugger all?
Of course it’s easy to push all this to one-side and peer at the homophobic underbelly but let’s not get too carried away. A few lotions and a little care in your appearance does not a homosexual make. Equally so, that fashionably dressed, coiffed and coutoured to within an inch of his gym-trim waist, man may not actually be gay! Let’s try and look beyond those stereo-types. In both directions.
It’s a bit of an odd one to be honest as, culturally, we seem to be slowly shifting away from the homophobic view of old, but I wonder if it will stall the same way the feminist movement did, leaving us with a nasty aftertaste which you can’t wash away.
Meet the author
Friday, January 20, 2006 ~ Comments Off
(and several other far more interesting people)
February 18th, the Jolly Judge pub in Edinburgh, anytime after 2pm (full details). Just thought I’d mention it here lest anyone miss it, and yes I’ve emailed everyone who has attend previous blogmeets. At least I think I did…
Anyway, be there or be the product of a number multiplied by itself (oh yes, you can imagine the ‘witty’ banter already!!).
Personal Priority Ponderings
Friday, January 20, 2006 ~ Comments Off
Despite the fact I’ve only been away for a week I seem to have lost some of my usual ‘productive’ habits and I’m struggling to get my head around everything I need to get done this week. Typically that means I resort to one thing. A big long list. Trouble is, having started it, I’m struggling to remember what should be on it (in fact I’ve just added two items in the midst of typing that last sentence, funny how the mind works, ain’t it).
It’s not that I feel particularly out of touch as much as that I’ve never really noticed just how busy my average day is and how far behind I fall when I’m out of my routine. Whether at home or at work I’m always juggling several different tasks, and spend most of my days progressing them when I can, and planning the next steps when I’m stuck.
Add in my new venture and it all gets a bit overwhelming. My To-Do lists are threatening to topple over and bury me under my desk… well they would if they weren’t all handled electronically.
Which reminds me of, and allow me to digress for a moment to mention, the cartoon in the Metro today. It featured a businessman daydreaming on his way to work: “World runs out of silicon chips, those with pen and paper skills treble their wages”. And whilst I’m off-topic I’ll also mention the interview I read, in the same paper, with Will Smith (the other Will Smith that is) which features a version of my favourite ever joke:
Two lions are walking down Oxford Street, ones turns to the other and says, “Quiet, isn’t it.”
A digression too far perhaps? Yes. I think so too. Now, where was I?
Whilst we were away in Spain, Louise said she’d write up all the family birthdays and whatnot for her Dad, unfortunately he doesn’t have a calendar app on his PC (not one that will remind him of things at least) so I suggested that I source an online version. Spookily enough I received an email this morning which included a link to Birthday Alarm which is almost ideal (if a little too cluttered and clunky for my liking), I think I prefer something like HipCal (still in BETA) but I’m open to suggestions. As long as it has the ability to send a reminder email for an upcoming appointment (two weeks before it’s due for example) it’ll meet my needs.
Hmmmm, there does seem to be a mood of organisation in the air. And it appears to be catching. Oh dear. Granted it’s not necessarily a bad thing but having looked at GTD methodologies and others and I wonder if they are more effort than they are worth. I’m not the only one. I think I’m more of a LifeHacker than a GTD monkey, preferring to a PocketMod to a Hipster PDA.
All that aside I’m actually hoping that this year I will be able to find a little more time for … umm… let’s call them “personal development activities”. Playing the piano, reading books, going for nice long walks in the countryside. You know the kind of thing. As odd as it may sound, the additional workload that one man designs may bring is actually causing me to focus more on the non-work side of my life. Hopefully that means less time wasted on the PlayStation and PC, less time sat on my arse on the sofa, and more time doing the things I really enjoy yet which always seem to be the first things to be dropped under the false of excuse of being “just too busy”.
I’m determined that 2006 will be the year of proper personal priorities and other potentially possible pastimes. It may also be the year of the alliteration but I’ve not really decided on that yet.
I also reserve the right to completely change my mind on this in a few months time.
Honey, I’m home!
Wednesday, January 18, 2006 ~ Comments Off
What damp and dismal weather this country has, what overpriced goods this country has, what lovely finished buildings and roads this country has!
We’re back and feeling, refreshed, revived and slightly relieved. Can’t say it was all that easy as it was the first time back in Torrox since Louise’s Mum passed away but overall it was good to see her Dad (Peter), and even better to spend our days reading books and wandering from pub to pub. Diet schmiet!
It’s hard to believe it’s over a week ago that we were slamming back shots of pure caffeine at 4.30am in an effort to wake ourselves for the 6am check-in. Mind you, we did have a mild trauma before we left. Louise’s Granda was supposed to have flown out with us but took an angina attack the night before the flight, he phoned at around 3am and Louise nipped up to check on him in Monklands hospital, he was fine but annoyed that he wouldn’t be coming with us.
The flight out was deserted, yet despite that we still ended up with people on either side of us until a quick game of “move when the doors are shut” musical chairs ended with me with an entire row to myself. Despite this, and my best efforts, I couldn’t counteract the caffeine buzz and failed to catch up on any sleep on the flight. This is nothing new though, and the reason I can’t sleep on a plane still evades me, something which is doubly annoying when I don’t have any trouble nodding off when travelling on most other modes of transport. Except bicycles. Mind you, I’ve never tried.
The rest of Wednesday was a blur of emotions. All a bit messy so let’s skip that and head to Thursday where you’ll find us driving up to the cemetry to visit Louise’s Mums ‘niche’ (where her ashes are stored… also affectionately known as the ‘filing cabinets’).
Obviously this was an emotional time for us all, and it’s just as well the radio was blaring out some happy pop music whilst the sun bounced through the clouds. Helped lighten the mood a little. Or it may have been grey, started raining just as we left the apartment and “Everybody Hurts” by R.E.M. started playing about 30 seconds after we set off in the car. Which do you think?
You couldn’t make it up.
Thursday evening and a little light relief was planned as we headed over the road for the local pub quiz. Any hope of that was soon dashed as we realised that we were in ‘serious pub quiz’ land and seriously out of our depth! We press-ganged a few of Peter’s friends and somehow we fumbled our way to a draw at the end of the quiz. Two tie-break questions later (the first of which wrongly stated that the first Bond film was Goldfinger… not as we correctly guessed Dr. No) we triumphed! The winning question, which we got the closest answer to, was how many toilets will the new Wembley Stadium have? Go on, have a guess (no prizes though, I’m not rich and famous enough for that!). Answers in the comments.
The rest of the week, barring a couple of days of rain, was mainly reading books, chatting, visiting my father-in-law’s regular haunts for a shandy or three, and enjoying some great food and hospitality. The sense of community over there is very strong, and it was good to see how people look out for one another, in fact I lost count of the number of times that we were assured that ‘Big Pete’ was doing fine and that “we’re keeping an eye on him”. By the end of the week we had met all the members of the spy network and were happy that his every waking moment was under scrutiny. Not sure he is though!
Then, all of a sudden, the week had passed and it was time to head home. In some ways far too soon, in other ways just about right. Landing in Glasgow it was just as we left it. Dreich. A quick dinner stop (mince an’ tatties) with my family and home to sort out the junk mail, turn the heating up and start thinking about work tomorrow. Actually scrap that last one, I’ll think about that tomorrow.
Right… best get on. Only 84-emails to go!
Talk talk
Monday, January 16, 2006 ~ Comments Off
I’m boring. Seriously, sometimes I struggle with conversations these days as I rarely go out and meet new people. I used to go out a lot, meet new people every night and talk until dawn without pause (or until they wander off to get away from the strange man who is talking to himself), nowadays I’m so out of practise that whilst I’m chatting to someone I frequently have out of body (mind?) experiences where the second after I utter some banal question or other – “And do you like your job?” – I can almost hear myself laughing at my stuttering inability to do anything except ask stock questions of the very type I used to ridicule. (You know, back when I was a student and knew everything)
Yes, in a former life I was a conversation snob. Nowadays I’ll talk to anyone, even the mad drunken Celtic fan at the train station… hey, he’s the only person I know that calls me a ‘smashing big lad’, you don’t get that kind of praise everywhere ya know…
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not rude or boring as such, you may even enjoy a conversation with me but, and this is the thing that really annoys me, I don’t LEAD conversations anymore. I don’t mean that I want to control the topics of discussion, or that I want to be the centre of attention, but I find myself more of a reactionary “group conversationalist” than the kind of guy I used to be where I’d take some pleasure at coming up with interesting/funny/random topics to pitch into the usual melee of a night out. Little conversational flash points.
OK, that last bit sounds awful. Suffice to say that it’s not a huge leap from “so, where do you work?” to “what would be your ideal job?” but you’d be surprised how many times that subtle shift can help a conversation.
Thankfully I’ve not quite lost the ability to flirt but that does mean that, more and more, I find myself gravitating towards the ladies in the group and, and please let me know if I’m over thinking this one (yeah I know, like I’D do that..), I’ve now started to wonder if they think I’m some sort of letch.
It’s obvious I need to go out more so, with that in mind, I’ll be round to shake my tin and take donations for my new “Save Gordon’s Conversation” campaign. Please give generously, thank you.
There is one other thought that I’m trying to ignore on this topic though, has my blog killed my ability to hold a conversation?
Editors note: This reads like he’s some sort of social outcast. Quite the contrary I can assure you, Gordon is far from a shy retiring type. And yes, I realise that I’m biased on this matter but please don’t let this post stop you from meeting Gordon. If nothing else he’s devastatingly handsome and is hugely generous with his inherited fortune, he likes to keep that bit quiet though.
M74
Sunday, January 15, 2006 ~ Comments Off
Unlike Route 66 and the N17, no-one has ever written a song about the M74, but there is time for that to change.
With the news that the proposed extension of the “motorway that goes nowhere” is to be built, and naturally that a variety of protest groups are up in arms at the decision (for some good reason), there is a chance for this dead-end of a motorway to grab a share of the spotlight and gain some notoriety.
For those not in the know, the M74 ends in a roundabout (hence the dead-end references) and is mainly used as a link from the M8 on the journey south to England. Before we moved to Hamilton, which sits on the M74, we used it a lot whilst travelling up from Aylesbury, so we know the way quite well.
Perhaps it’s time to break out the visual aids.
The red dot is Hamilton. The green line is the current route for anyone travelling from the M74 onto the M8, up and round the back of Glasgow and on towards the west. As you can see the proposed extension will cut a large distance from the journey, not to mention avoiding the notorious Kingston Bridge altogether. For that reason, and the fact that the main reason we generally use the M8 is to travel past Glasgow, I think the proposed extension is a wonderful idea.
But then there is the pollution and impact on the environment to consider. One option would be a viable public transport alternative, except there already is one, the trains run from Hamilton through Glasgow to Balloch at Loch Lomond but we car users do like the comfort and flexibility of controlling our own travel times so that’s never really going to be an option for many.
What else to consider? Pollution, impact on the environment? More than three quarters of Scotland isn’t even inhabited. You want fresh air? Move to Auchtermuchty!
If I’m honest, the main thing that annoys me about this entire thing is the guilt tactics employed by the protest groups. I’m fully aware these things will have an impact on the environment but for my own selfish needs I WANT the extension built. It’ll knock about 15 minutes OFF the time it takes to drive through to Dumbarton, something we do every other weekend, and will also mean our car is emitting less and we’ll be using less fuel.
So, to appease my own inner demons, I guess what I really need to do is find where the balance between the impact cost of building the extension is “equalled” by lowering pollution and saving on fuel use. I feel a rough guess coming on… how about year 2063?
Well it’s either that or buy a bike…
Friends will be Friends
Friday, January 13, 2006 ~ Comments Off
One simple fact is indisputable; I don’t see my friends often enough.
Granted one spends a large amount of the year in other countries and one lives in London, but the other two live and work nearby and there is no excuse other than the usual “time flies” nonsense… which isn’t as much an excuse as a weird rip in the time versus priority continuum.
What a great word continuum is… continuUM conTINuum contiuummmmmmm…
Every time we meet we promise to meet sooner next time, to not leave it so long, to call on the off chance of each other being free rather than worrying about pre-arranging a dinner, or if one person can make it whilst the other one can’t. Yet we never really do and there’s no excuse for it. We are all grown up (mostly) and responsible adults (barely), we can handle buying houses, holding down jobs (two of my mates run their own companies fer chrissakes) yet we can’t seem to get the whole ‘friend time’ nailed down properly.
Now I’m not saying that this is a problem, it’s more a slight annoyance, and I’m certainly not laying blame, – if I was I’d have to start with myself – but it is something that bothers me. Especially at this time of year as resolutions are made, the slate is clean, a new dawn breaks over the horizon, a calm pond awaits the pebble, a blank canvas dreams of colour, a [Ed: GET ON WITH IT!]…
So I spotted my two Glasgow based friends on MSN, got in touch and made arrangements to contact them when we get back from Spain. Life is just too short to let these times pass, to neglect the people I care about, and I’m determined that this year will be different. It’s almost like that mature feeling that occasionally sweeps over me when I’m driving… it may sound odd but it’s almost the sudden realisation that I’m an adult, I am married, I can afford… well I can drive a car… it’s like seeing myself through a stranger’s eyes. Just another middle-aged married couple going to the garden centre, or to visit their family. Odd that. Anyone else get that? Just me? Right.. as you were.
Friends are important, they help remind you of who you are, where you came from, and keep you grounded. They can share old jokes and reminiscing that no-one else can, they know you better than you ever realise and when you need them they are there for you without question or hesitation.
You can’t choose your family, and sometimes you can’t choose your friends. Not really at any rate for the true friends are the ones that just develop, flourish and stick. Those are the ones to value.
And I do.