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A night of noise

A thin moaning whisper, hissing through gaps, sputtering through trees and racing over roof tiles, strumming cables.

Booming and bursting on buildings, howling and roaring onwards. Thuds and thumps peal from fallen bins, clanging gates fire salvos into the night.

The rhythm continues to erratically bang and clunk, knock and pound. A huge throb of air and rain smashing and whirling around, attacking every window with venom.

Tossing and turning, earful of drips, of gaps, of damage.

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Ollie update

Seeing as someone asked…

He’s doing fine.

Ohh you want details? Well he got his booster injection yesterday and didn’t put up too much of a struggle, so he’s now all clear, vaccinated, wormed, flea treatment applied, all ready for his week long holiday in a local cattery. The vet gave him a quick check over and pronounced him fit as a fiddle.

Behaviour-wise he’s been much better this past week and we’re almost at 100% success with a simple, firm “No” stopping him from whatever he’s doing. He generally seems much calmer all round, although we still giggle at his mad half hour antics, particularly the cartoon effect squeaking of a cat trying to turn very fast on a laminate floor (in our hall, which is a hard wearing one so he’s not doing any damage).

Thank you to everyone for their suggestions, as first-time cat owners we are reading lots of books, websites and leaflets, but there is nothing like direct advice from the more experienced.

In saying that, he’s quite the laidback kitten most of the time, making our job a lot easier. Even the trip to the vet didn’t throw him, with no yelping or scratching even when he was doing his secret agent impression, clinging to the sides of his carrier as we tipped it upside-down to try and get him out!

To be honest, I’m more worried about calming down Louise whilst we are away than I am at leaving him in a cattery. He’ll take it all in his stride, whilst Louise will be quaffing gin to calm her fears (I’m only kidding… well, sort of… ).

More photos soon, although it’s hard to photograph a black cat during these dark evenings.

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I am ashamed

I’m a grown man. Well, as grown as a man can ever be, and I’m figuring that I’ll never really stop being a small child. Not really. I mean look at the evidence; the toys of our childhood remain but are now called gadgets, as children we were never happier than when we were being looked after and now we use man-flu as an excuse to revert to that behaviour, and of course as babies we fixated on one pair of breasts and as adults, well pretty much anyones will do.

And yes, the latter still applies regardless of sexuality. Show me a gay man who doesn’t wonder over a buxom lady and I’ll show you… actually no, let’s leave that one alone for now.

As I was saying, I’m (considered by some) a grown man yet occasionally I find myself forgetting that fact and reverting to embarassingly childlike outbursts.

Let me pause here and ask you to cast your minds back to the original movie version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Got it? Now, picture Veruca Salt in the nut room, singing her little lungs out:

I want a party with roomfuls of laughter
Ten thousand tons of ice cream
And if I don’t get the things I am after
I’m going to scream

I want the works
I want the whole works
Presents and prizes
And sweets and surprises
Of all shapes and sizes

And now

Don’t care how, I want it now
Don’t care how, I want it now

Apologies, that’ll probably now be stuck in your ear for the rest of the day.

Well, to my horror I reenacted a similar scene today.

Except I wasn’t in Willy Wonka’s factory, nor was I in the egg sorting room. I also wasn’t wearing a red dress with a white lace colour (I keep that for weekends).

Instead I was at home, marvelling at the inadequacy of the customer support offered by Pixmania. Having ordered a new camera through them, they were second cheapest but I get some back through Quidco, I’ve been tracking the purchase.

It had cleared every stage in their process up to the delivery point by yesterday afternoon so when I check again just after lunch, and saw that no further progress had been made, I contacted their customer support via email asking what the delay was, and if I could get an update.

The response I got back was “Your order has been validated and is scheduled for delivery shortly.”

Yeah. I already knew that you muppets!!

And after shouting at the computer screen for a while I realised what folly it was and I slowly backed away in horror. What the hell was I doing? Pixmania clearly stated 3-4 working days from order to delivery and I am still well within that time frame, what was I getting so het up about??

With everything on-demand, instant-on, available now, it’s easy to get caught up in the hype and make unrealistic expectations. Sure, the customer support email I got back from Pixmania would’ve been better received if it wasn’t so blatantly auto-generated, but what was I really complaining about?

Ahh yes, information. Or the lack thereof. Funny how that seems to be the root cause for so much tension and anger.

Anyway, I’m calm now. Almost.

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