LOST & FOUND
Sunday, September 28, 2008 ~ 5 comments so far
It appears I have lost my words. I’m sure I’ve just left them somewhere, carelessly abandoned without thought. I’m sure I shouldn’t really panic too much, knowing they’ll turn up like an odd sock at the bottom of the wash basket, and I’m certain that it is probably a good thing they’ve chosen this moment to go missing.
Why?
Simply because there is everything and nothing to tell here. As usual. Too busy you see, too busy to hunt for the words myself so I’ll presume they are where I left them, even though I can’t recall where that is.
So excuse me for a while until I find my words again, and if you do spot them roaming around please tell them to come home. Thanks.
Autumn Muse
Wednesday, September 24, 2008 ~ 5 comments so far
The once billowing grass is gone, shorn from existence, ripped from green to dirt by savage machinery. Under dripping trees at the edge of the field stands the farmer, admiring the close crop of the land as it ripples towards the horizon across the furrows of once turned soil.
Standing at the top of the hill he turns from the chilled air sweeping through the valley to survey the rest of his land. An oddly shaped patchwork this, bordered by stone and scrub as it climbs and slides across the terrain. The cool breeze dances on stalks and leaves, the beginnings of autumn burning spots of gold and red, glimpses of light through dense trees herald another cycle as the leaves slowly start their long tumble to the ground.
…
And that’s it, that’s all I’ve got. I have no story, no characters, no plot devices, no he said she said. No pace, no direction, no structure nor prose. I am mute until inspiration returns, until the muse once more lands gently on my shoulder and generously bestows her charms and inspiration.
Her visits are fleetingly random, endearingly erratic and completely at her whim. You cannot depend on her to arrive and remain, and deep down as you know that to make such demands would be the end of it all so you stay your course, riding the waves as best you can.
Such is the way of things for this most complex of spectres; she is the free spirit of whimsy, the demanding guide, a strict mistress when she calls, a caring spirit when she leaves, a raging torrent and calming stream. You cannot use what she gives without permission, and cannot call on her, beckoning her to your aid. She is not under your control and needs only the slightest excuse to float away.
The mundane returns and she loosens her grip, slipping away as I type. Dust trails of inspiration whirl as she departs.
No read-ey, no write-y!
Tuesday, September 23, 2008 ~ 20 comments so far
Dearest Reader,
(Yes, that’s you)
I’ll keep this as simple as I can.
In my previous post I stated, quite clearly, that I would be taking “the opportunity to confirm that I will not be starting to write a novel (or even a novella)”. I realise my mixing of positive and negative actions in the same sentence may have confused your simple mind, for that I am sorry. I am certain you already have enough difficulty and confusion in your life and I apologise for rendering your simple mind asunder with my badly crafted sentence.
I realise my education places me at an advantage, how quickly it is that I forget that not everyone can read whilst sitting on the loo, I can skim through a magazine in no time, picking out all the best bits with ease. I occasionally read the words too. Yes I should remember that you may not be as smart as I, and that not only do you have to remember how to tie your shoelaces every morning but that it takes you several minutes beyond that to realise that you are wearing slip-ons.
So please let me clarify my statement, and allow me to re-iterate for those of you who apparently cannot read. The statement I made is thus, clearly and unequivocally, I AM NOT GOING TO WRITE A NOVEL (OR EVEN A NOVELLA).
WILL NOT.
CAN’T MAKE ME!
I’m ashamed to admit that even my own parents (who are teachers for godssake!!) failed to properly read that announcement and continue to encourage me to do something I have stated, repeatedly, that I am not interested in doing. These are the types of parents you see in documentaries on Channel 5, and if I let them have their own way they’d no doubt have me attending some horrid pageant for 30-something sons, reciting my own paltry and pathetic attempts at poetry.
You may now be considering pointing an accusatory finger in my general direction, so I will concede that, maybe, perhaps, I could have emphasised my point a little better but the underlying lesson that I will take from this sorry debacle is that my faith in you (yes YOU) dear reader has been mis-guided. I have been presuming all along that you can read and, alas, it seems you cannot.
It makes me wonder what the hell you’ve been commenting on these past nine years, if you’ve been unable to properly parse and process the eloquently crafted prose laid before you. What kind of imbecile are you?
This entire sorrry episode convinces me that I am correct (I usually am) and so I will be sticking to my aforementioned, and since clarified, announcement which I shall repeat here in one final attempt to get the message across.
I AM NOT AND WILL NOT BE WRITING A NOVEL (OR EVEN A NOVELLA).
After all, if you lot can’t even be bothered to read things on my blog properly, why the hell should I write a bloody book!
Yours condescendingly,
Gordon
P.S. There are several grammatical and spelling errors throughout this post, but I’m not expecting you heathens to spot them.
Obligatory Busyness post
Monday, September 22, 2008 ~ 5 comments so far
As we head for another product release it is only fair that I warn you that I am stooooopidly busy over the next three weeks, and not just at work.
I’ve been lucky enough to bag some web design work and have just gotten off the phone with yet another person asking for some of my time in a consultancy type role. Not quite sure when I’ll fit that in but time is money and all that, although I will need to figure out my hourly rate… perhaps if I extrapolate back from the last item of gadget lust and aim for that??
Of course, as I’ve said numerous times before, I quite enjoy being busy as it usually “raises my game” meaning I tend to write more often and get a lot of other things done along the way. However I will take the opportunity to confirm that I will not be starting to write a novel (or even a novella), despite the not too subtle hints dropped by my dear mother, which recently included a free “How to write a novel” handout that she found in the Guardian.
Hang on, since when did my mother start reading the Guardian?
Miscellany
Sunday, September 21, 2008 ~ 4 comments so far
Since getting my iPhone I’ve tweaked my working practises a little but, thankfully, not a lot. As most of the applications I use for my daily life (email, RSS reading, that kind of thing) are well served on the iPhone it’s been a painless transition and it’s great to have everything working, sync’d up and serving ME (unlike my previous phone which I spent far too many hours wrestling with). One thing that it has improved is my use of list/task (To Do style) based applications.
I’ve never really found an application I was comfortable with but, since shifting the rest of my productivity based activities to the web and with the iPhone providing an excellent platform for such things, I’ve been trying out a few other list applications and finally I’ve settled on Zenbe. Why? Because you can sync between the website and the iPhone app, giving me something akin to GMail and Google Reader. It’s working well for me so far.
That aside, I’m currently working on some web design with two websites in mind. The priority work is for a client but whilst I’m in the mood I’m jotting down ideas for another website as well.
Mind you I’m still a little amazed that we are heading towards the end of September and, looking ahead at the calendar, I’m pretty busy right the way through October and early November with a variety of nights out, family events and gigs (Elbow, Aimee Mann and Sigur Ros) to attend by which time, dare I say it, Christmas will be the main consideration. Erk!
Still, I’m finally able to start jogging with jogScotland again, kicking off the usual 10 week block on the 1st October and I have to say I’m quite excited by the prospect of getting back out there again on a regular basis and getting a basic level of fitness back, something which will help me in other areas of my life as well.
Eclectic Less
Wednesday, September 17, 2008 ~ 8 comments so far
You are what they eat, they say, in which case I’m mostly caffeine and potatoes.
As for what you listen to, that too has an influence on who you are and, naturally, vice versa. With this in mind it is with some disdain that I find myself plumped among the masses when it comes to my music taste. Yes, I’m a snob. No, it’s YOUR problem.
Whilst I have a fairly wide taste of music, and I continue to try and steer myself away from the mainstream (something that is easier to do these days), I only have to look back at the statistics gathered for me by Last.fm which, based on the 83,000 odd tracks I’ve listened to in the past 4 years or so, suggests that my top 20 most frequently played artists are:
- Foo Fighters
- Radiohead
- Kings of Leon
- R.E.M.
- The White Stripes
- Massive Attack
- Muse
- Pearl Jam
- Elbow
- PJ Harvey
- Eagles of Death Metal
- U2
- Faithless
- Bjork
- Kanye West
- Aimee Mann
- Goldfrapp
- Portishead
- Leftfield
- Neil Finn
Hardly stepping off the beaten track, am I?
But this doesn’t tell the whole story, if you only take my listening habits from the last 3 months then Fleet Foxes, Lemon Jelly and Sigur Ros all make it into the top 10 which certainly feels, to me, a bit more representative of my listening habits.
The real reason I’m listing this here, now, is that (if I remember) I’ll revisit this topic in 6 months or so and see if the Genius button in iTunes has had much of an impact. We’ll see.
iTunes 8
Tuesday, September 16, 2008 ~ 9 comments so far
I know a lot of you bemoan the fact it grabs huge chunks of memory, and that it has the audacity to organise your music into folders for you. I know this but, as I run on a nice chunky PC with plenty of memory and I don’t really care WHERE my music is stored as long as I can get to it all, then suffice to say I’m a happy bunny when it comes to iTunes. Even more so with the latest version.
And, in particular, that little Genius button.
I have a stupid amount of music in my library, a lot of which I rarely listen to as well as several Christmas albums which I don’t WANT to listen to other than for the entire month of December (I don’t actually get a choice in that matter). Because I have a large library of music I find that, quite frequently, I “lose” an album or two.
Most usually it’ll be a newer album which will sit in my “Recently Added” Smart Playlist for 4 weeks before then disappearing into the depths of my library, wherein it will remain until a random encounter reminds me that it was actually pretty good and why aren’t I listening to it more often??
And this is where the Genius button comes into play.
The premise is simple, select a track, click the button and iTunes will present you with a playlist based on that track culled from your entire library.
What I’m guessing it’s doing is quite complex. Firstly it collates the details of your library (artist, track title, maybe genre?) and uploads that to the iTunes Store library. It then runs an algorithm that comparies the track with similar tracks that other users have bought, matches them based on some magical criteria and then sends that information back to your iTunes library, where it sits and waits until you click the Genius button.
After that, weekly updates are sent to and from your library and the iTunes Store library to make sure the Genius button has up-to-date information from which to make it’s best guess when compiling your Genius playlist for you.
The information sent to the iTunes Store is anonymous, and I’ll admit that I have a few albums that were… ahem.. appropriated through non-legal routes, but there has been no knock on the door and I can use those tracks to generate a Genius playlist.
The idea isn’t without some glitches. The information stored against the MP3 needs to match what the iTunes Store has and it would be nice if it was a little smarter, possibly using a best match kinda thing rather than (it seems) an exact match only.
But after using it for a week or so, I am already a fan. No more faffing about creating playlists by hand or by crafting some weird and wonderful Smart Playlist, instead find a track you like, click the Genius button and away you go!!
Genius.