I am not style

Sunday, November 8, 2009 ~ 5 comments so far

On Saturday I found myself in a large department store in Glasgow. I was there to purchase a shirt, possibly two, to get me through the endless round of Christmas nights out, lunches and whatnot that will inevitably start to pile up towards the end of the year.

So I was looking for the smart/casual combination and as I wandered round I started to realise that I’m not style and, frankly dear reader, I never have been.

Don’t get me wrong, growing up I succumbed to the fashion senses of the day, I had a plastic, neon orange belt, neon pink and yellow socks (always worn with one colour on one foot, the other on the other), and the tartan effect jeans to go with them. I had a hypercolour t-shirt, a brightly coloured ski-jacket. Hell I even had a shellsuit at one point.

However even within the strict confines of school age fashion, I always tried to steer away from the norm and I guess it was back then that I discovered my own style.

Which is to say that I don’t really have one, other than that I won’t blindly follow what other people think look good, instead I’ll wear what I think looks good.

However, not having your own style leads to problems if, like me, you take cues from a variety of sources. This approach finds me in Converse skate shoes, jeans and an “independent” t-shirt one moment, and the next in brown leather slip-ons, dark jeans and a John Rocha shirt.

And it’s not that I mind this so much, I’m not style icon but I’m comfortable in what I wear, but I do look on at others with a distinct style with some envy. Walking around the West End of Glasgow (firmly in student land) confirmed just that, so many people with a strong sense of their own style, and there I sat feeling quite the middle-class corporate whore.

Perhaps it’s not envy of their style from which I suffer, but more the desire to make sure I’m not just another middle of the road person, that I too can make my mark.

I dunno.

Regardless I found myself circling the various departments and trying to make sure I bought things because I like them, and to hell with what anyone else things.

After all, I may not be stylish, but I do have style.

All fizzle, no bang

Thursday, November 5, 2009 ~ 1 comment so far

and when they light up our town I just think,
what a waste of gunpowder and sky

I’m sat inside, gazing out the window as the some of the surrounding neighbours set off fireworks. The night is peppered with dull thumps and brittle crackles, garish green flares against black, and in my head the quiet melancholy descends.

It’s been a long, tiring day, facilitating meetings, full of good and bad. I know not to take some of the criticsms personally but they resonate and my natural empathy kicks in. I feel the annoyance and pain, I share the frustration that some things aren’t better, yet I get no gain from the good, from the laughs of the team, their in-jokes pass me by.

I am drained, emotionally and physically.

I watch the short life of the fireworks outside. The temporary brilliance, and powerful death, and the lines of the song reverb round my head.

So that’s today’s memory lane
with all the pathos and pain
another chapter in a book where the chapters are endless
and they’re always the same
a verse, then a verse, and refrain

And per se and

Sunday, November 1, 2009 ~ 4 comments so far

One thing that continues to keep me blogging, and writing, is my love of words.

I write for a living. Well that’s not strictly true these days, but my profession is focussed on technical content, the bulk of which comes in the form of the written word.

I write for a hobby. Mainly here on this blog, and on my other blog, ohh yeah and that blog I hardly ever post to anymore.

And whilst I won’t be tackling NaNoWriMo, again, this year, it remains something that intrigues me (quantity over quality, hell yeah!).

AND.

There it is, that word. And. The also. The join.

My mind tends to form patterns, relating X to Y, noticing that Y and Z are similar in some aspect as well and (ohh there it is again) it will probably try and find a connection between Z and X.

It’s a useful trait, once I’d identified it in myself, and one of which I’m quietly proud. The ability to make connections between ideas has helped my professionally and personally.

It’s also a good word for clarification. Yes it’s a bit rude to respond with a one word answer but it does leave a nice open space into which you can throw additional information. Someone presents you with some information and in one word you can let them expand on it without directing them in anyway.

And?

And ampersands are the graphical representation of this (technically they are a logogram).

And what is the point of all this? I hear you ask.

The ampersand, as a personal motif, fits. It’s a good representation of me, of my attitude to life, and my constant strive to question myself and push myself. I don’t always succeed, but who does?

And.

I’ve decided to mark these thoughts in a very permanent way. Now, when I look in the mirror, my motif will be staring back at me, framing the questions that drive me forward.

Say hello to my new tattoo.