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Not lacking in passion

What are your passions?

Life continues on an upward trajectory.

I am a rocket!

God, I’ve lost the point of this already? Why on earth do I bother?

Ahhh that’s it! Passion!

No, not the bodice-ripping type from a Jackie Collins novel (is that even right?), but the type that makes you get up in the morning because you want to get something done. The type of passion that drives creative people, or those who like to be active, to get up and go do something they love.

I know many of these types of people. Some border on the obsessive, it seems like it’s all they think about, others have private hobbies in which they happily lose themselves for hours or days on end.

The thing is, I’m not sure I have one.

For a while I thought that was a bad thing but recently I’ve realised it’s not.

It’s something I’ve mentioned here before and it still irks me at times, but less so as time passes. I think I’ve finally realised that what I’m passionate about is everything. I enjoy the fact that I’m reasonably good at a few things, that I have reasoned opinions on a number of topics. It also explains why certain types of people bore the tits off me when they only have one topic of conversation (and that’s even before we get to those people who turn every single conversation into one about themselves). I digress.

I go through fads (not fashions) of my own making. Recently I re-discovered the simple joy of building Lego. There is something relaxing about switching off most of your cognitive function, and following simple instructions. You don’t need to extrapolate, to consider, there is no need to revise or improve upon what is laid in front of you. Given that most of my working day is spent in that headspace, the appeal of Lego is kinda obvious.

But that’s fading now, been there, done that. What’s next?

Maybe I’m going to get back into reading? Or that dusty guitar might actually get some of my attention?

Who knows, and more importantly, who cares? I know that I will find something to capture my gaze and keep me occupied, it may be something which stirs up some passion in me for a while but it too will fade. Circumstance will play it’s part, of course, funnily enough I’m not quite as passionate about cycling now the days are mostly cold and wet, and whilst I will always look on with a level of jealousy when I see those passionate people talking about something they love, but I will take solace in the fact that I am passionate about one specific thing.

Living life.

You see, what stops me being passionate about one thing in particular is that I don’t really understand why you’d limit yourself in that way. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, just that it doesn’t sit well within my mental model of me. I’m aware of my weakness when it comes to detail so deep-diving on a topic isn’t something I really find comfortable. I’ll tend to get as much out of something as I want and then stop, even if that means missing out on something vital. I’ll take shortcuts where I can too so my general approach to learning and information assimilation isn’t really suited to the role of being a specialist.

In my day job that’s been to my advantage and, I’m realising with increasing frequency, it suits me just fine in other aspects of my life.

In short, but when has brevity ever been a consideration here, I’m passionate about being passionate about lots of different things at different times.

Which is, probably, more similar to other people than I think.

Once again, I end a blog post with a massive non-conclusion.

/ENDS

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