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How to maintain a healthy level of insanity

Yes, this was forwarded to me by a friend. No, I don’t post these very often. Yes, number 4 made me laugh the loudest.

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
I’ve sat in a white car with a camera which had a big lens on it (the camera, not the car), same effect. And no I didn’t do it on purpose!

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
How many offices still have an intercom?

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
Ahhh so this list originates from America

4. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
This is evil. And I started doing this one this morning.. day 1 of decaf

5. On all your cheque stubs, write ‘ for marijuana’.
What’s a cheque stub? It’s 2009!

6. Skip down the street rather than walk and see how many looks you get.

7. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
But… I’ve seen bottles of diet water, they do exist!!

8. Specify that your drive-through order is ‘to go’.

9. Sing along at the opera.

10. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you have a headache.

11. When the money comes out the atm, scream ‘I won! I won!’

12. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the car park, yelling ‘run for your lives! They’re loose!’.

In other news. There is no other news. As you were.




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Finish This Sentence

Ignoring the fact I have been specifically tagged, and not completed, a few memes in the past couple of months, this one I think I can tackle. Thanks to Cliff for the open invite.

1. My uncle once: remembered my birthday (LOL!!).

2. Never in my life: have I chosen to eat a raw tomato, ick ick ick.

3. When I was five: I had the run of the house as my sister had yet to appear.

4. High school was: much the same as anyone else who was smarter than most and didn’t “fit in” with the cool kids.

5. I will never forget: finishing my first 10K and the emotions that went with that.

6. Once I met: a homeless person and bought him coffee and a doughnut.

7. There’s this girl I know: Who writes a blog that no-one reads, and she’s really good but hates getting compliments (and I’m not linking to it until I get permission).

8. Once, at a bar: I stole a bottle of champagne and no-one noticed.

9. By noon, I’m usually: ready for lunch and checking what the afternoon holds.

10. Last night: I did some work on a blog design, it’s coming along nicely (and the client is really nice, that helps).

11. If only I had: more discipline.

12. Next time I go to church: I’ll, again, wonder why I’m there.

13. What worries me most: is what the future may or may not hold.

14. When I turn my head left I see: a MacBook and the remnants of my lunch.

15. When I turn my head right I see: out of the window, across the cul-de-sac.

16. You know I’m lying when: I don’t tell the truth.

17. What I miss most about the Eighties is: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!.

18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I’d be: an obscure snob, sitting on the sidelines whilst the main play unfolded, chipping in with witty asides.

19. By this time next year: I’ll be a year older.

20. A better name for me would be: Mr. Research.

21. I have a hard time understanding: people who are happy to accept the status quo, who accept prejudice as fact and remain inconsiderate of others.

22. If I ever go back to school, I’ll: only be there to gloat.

23. You know I like you if: I smile when we talk.

24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be: whoever nominated me.

25. Take my advice, never: that plate of melted cheese? Don’t eat it.

26. My ideal breakfast is: filter coffee and toast with lashings of butter and honey.

27. A song I love but do not have is: the live version of Hotel California that they use on MTV sometimes (OK OK, Q or VH2).

28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest you: Climb up to the castle, and enjoy the view down the Clyde.

29. Why won’t people: just get along?

30. If you spend a night at my house: red wine and takeaway curry, good music and laughter.

31. I’d stop my wedding for: no-one as I’m already married, thanks!

32. The world could do without: idiots.

33. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: let ANYONE stick ANYTHING in my EYE EVER.

34. My favourite blonde(s) is/are: Marilyn Monroe.

35. Paper clips are more useful than: not having paper clips when you need one.

36. If I do anything well it’s: convincing people that I can do anything well.

37. I can’t help but: constantly need something to hold my attention.

38. I usually cry: at soppy movies, or soppy TV shows, or… basically any form of simple emotional manipulation and I tear up.

39. My advice to my child/nephew/niece: only you know what YOU really want, learn to listen to yourself.

40. And by the way: one day this blog will cease to exist.

And I’ll take the same route as Cliff and wimp out of nominating anyone in particular. Instead, if you haven’t blogged for a while or just fancy a change, grab the sentences and finish them yourself.




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Five Things You Don’t Know About Me meme

podz tagged me with this, trickier than it sounds:

  1. I don’t like it when plans change.
  2. I have snogged a man.
  3. I once lost a pair of boxers on a night out.
  4. I spend far too much time imagining how certain situations MIGHT pan out.
  5. I have an alter ego.

Right, who’s next? Lemme see.. how about.. ohh you know what? Feel free to grab this one, I just don’t have the energy to try and pick people who might do it, as opposed to those who won’t. Too many of the latter, too few of the former!

Remember people, blogging is supposed to be fun. Irreverent, silly, fun! Meme on!




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