When is too many, too many?, originally uploaded by Gordon.

I may have a problem.

In this photo there are 11 sets of headphones.

• 3 – Sony MDR-ED 21LP
• 1 – Apple iPhone set, with inline mic
• 1 – generic headset with mic
• 1 – Sennheiser PX100
• 1 – Sennheiser PX200
• 1 – Sennheiser EH1430
• 1 – Sennheiser PMX70
• 1 – Griffin Tunebuds
• 1 – a-JAYS Three

I have a further 2 sets of generic iPod (white) headphones, and one set of Bose In Ear headphones which I use at work.

That’s 14 sets of headphones.

Fourteen.

FOURTEEN!

Update: I started writing this post mid-tidy up of some boxes full of cables, about 10 mins after publishing I’ve finished the tidy and found… another set of headphones (silver versin of the Sony MDR-ED 21LP).

FIFTEEN FRICKIN’ SETS OF HEADPHONES!!

I need help.

Anyone wanna buy a set of headphones from me?

I’ve pre-registered myself and will wait the day when tickets go on sale so i can, finally, haul my ass to Glastonbury.

I’m hoping that we’ll have sold the house by then!

Music is an important part of my life, always has been, and one thing I am already considering for when I move and get my own flat, is the location. How close to a reasonable gig venue is it?

I think of heading to the West of Glasgow, the West End preferably as that puts me within walking distance of Oran Mor and will offer me the opportunity to get some cheap (less than a tenner) tickets for gigs by people I might not have heard of. I may be romanticising slightly, of course, but I think it could be quite fun.

And when I go home, I’ll use my iPhone to turn on my Sonos sound system for even more music.

I don’t own it yet though, but I will. It’s crept up the list of “things I will need to buy when I move” and is very near the top, right after things like a bed, a microwave and maybe a sofa.

Mind you, given that I’ll be heading to Glastonbury, I should maybe leave a little room in my budget for a tent (or better still, leave a lot of room in my budget and do it in style!).

*pauses*

OK, so it’s stretching the truth a bit, well a lot, well it’s entirely possible that it’s downright lie but let us move on lest I lose all self-esteem and realise just how far I am from being cool.

Dammit. Too late. Well I guess it’s fair to say that I’m about as cool as a volcano spewing molten lava and ash into the air.

And yes, not only am I not cool but I’m also never ever topical.

So I should really work in some obscure World Cup reference I guess, comparing my innate lack of cool to the composure shown by most English football players when asked to kick the ball 12 yards.

Regardless, let us step back a few hours to the moment my revelation was unveiled to me by one of those printed things you can buy in shops these days. You know the ones, lots and lots of adverts printed on glossy pages, stapled or glued together but which lack any cover of merit. I am, in a most roundabout way, referring to a magazine. Specifically one that I used to buy quite often and which, as I found myself wandering past said magazines, caught my eye once more.

The magazine in question is that veritable tome of music knowledge, Q.

Why not, I thought, and ohh look, it has a free CD of “most exciting new acts” (15 of them, and they are “on the planet” too, which is lucky).

I didn’t really look at much else, as I was running a little late, so I paid for and left with said magazine safely tucked under my arm.

When I got home I had a quick look at the attached CD and it does indeed have 15 tracks from 15 bands that are on this planet but I’m not quite sure they are the most exciting new acts… not anymore at least.

It was at this point I (thought I) realised how cool I am.

Why?

Because of the 15 bands, I’ve got (and have had for several months in most cases) albums by 7 of them, and have seen 2 of them live.

I’m THAT FRICKIN’ COOL!!

The bubble was soon burst though, as the front cover of said magazine was questioning who would ‘win’ at Glastonbury, Muse or U2.

Oh. Right. Published last month then.

And, of course, Q magazine was never, and will never, be cool.

Do you know why?

Because everytime I buy a copy, there is always, ALWAYS, some interview of snippet or other random piece of information about JON BON FUCKING JOVI!!!

Which, and I’m sure you’ll all agree, is really not fucking cool at all.

badum tish!

Actually, that’s not all that far from the truth. I don’t listen to the radio all that much, it’s just never been a part of any routine. Radio wasn’t a big part of my childhood as it never occurred to me that there might be stations other than those my parents listened to, so for the most part I grew up listening to albums.

The one time I do listen to the radio is in the car on my commute which brings me to my quandary.

What, or more exactly who, should I listen to?

Music wise my tastes lie somewhere between Radio 1 and Radio 2, with Radio Clyde (West of Scotland only) being the closest match (where closest equals “if I have to suffer a mix of chart music”). I’m not a fan of talk shows on the radio, so Radio 4 is out, and Radio Scotland has a jack of all trades approach which just annoys me.

Of course we are only talking about when I’m driving to and from work so I need to find a breakfast show and a drivetime show that I can tolerate.

With Chris Evans moving to the breakfast slot on Radio 2, it seems like there will finally be something decent to listen to of a morning in the car. His evening show was pretty interesting and musically a reasonable fit to my tastes. He’s much less grating on the radio than on TV and as the alternatives are Chris Moyles (Radio 1) or George Bowie (on Radio Clyde), well it’s a no-brainer.

But what of drivetime? Simon Mayo on Radio 2? Puhleeze, there is more personality in a toe-nail clipping. Scott Mills on Radio 1, inane chatter, that whole “off of” bollocks and his playlists always seem to favour the current, most annoying, manufactured tripe. Radio Clyde seems to be where this is heading, which at least gives me local traffic reports but means I have to endure the latest greatest Scottish slang… ohh yeah, and adverts.

And yes, I could just chuck in a CD, but my other half and I don’t share musical tastes, so perhaps the ultimate option is just to switch it off.

What do you do?

I bought the CD that weekend and as soon as I got home, rushed up to my room, closed the door (I’m not THAT rebellious), put it in the stereo and turned it up loud.

Thumping bass notes, screeching guitar and THAT refrain.

FUCK YOU, I WON’T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME!!

As a track it still has enough raw energy and youthful (misguided) attitude to remain an anthem to many an angsty, angry, acne-ridden youth, and through the “power of the internet” it’s now the Christmas number 1 for 2009.

And yes, I bought it. And yes I’m glad I did.

Not because of any “sticking it to the man” sympathies, as many have pointed out, Sony own both record labels so they win either way.

Not to get at X-Factor per se, as it at least drives me to source other forms of music and find richer seams of pleasure away from the (mostly) manufactured crap that peppers the charts.

Not (just) because, musically, I much prefer a good bit of noisy rock to yet another ballad.

And definitely not to “get at Joe”, who seems wholly likable and sounds a bit like Neil Sedaka to me and that’s no bad thing (really, it’s not).

Nope, I mainly just to placate that tiny piece of me that remains rebellious, the bit that gets tattoos. To have a small amount of “fuck it” in my life, to get away from the tensions and strains of being an adult.

That’s really all there is to it.

So I’m not really raging against the machine, more *mildly not too keen on the thingmabob.