Kid for a day

Sunday, February 3, 2008 ~ 4 Comments

Cue dream sequence.

wibblywobbly ~ wibblywobbly ~ wibblywobbly

When I am grand poobah, leader of all and ruler of the land, my first act will be to create a new law which will read: “You, my loyal and humble subject, are entitled to choose one day of the calendar year during which you will be free from the constraints of adulthood and allowed to act and think like a child.”

Actually, that’s not strictly true.

My FIRST act as grand poobah, leader of all and ruler of the land will probably be to order a bigger robe and crown, then do a little jig in celebration of my, somewhat unexpectedly, acquired position.

After I’ve calmed down, beheaded a few oiks in Burberry justbecauseIcan and had a good hearty meal, for one should never make rash decisions on an empty stomach (just ask Alfred von Schlieffen who’s SECOND plan was “have dinner”), I will then proceed to lay down the law. Don’t worry though, I will be a benevolent ruler. Unless I don’t like the cut of your jib of course, whereby an entirely different law will be invoked and you shall be cast out along with the Spice Girls (except Baby) and made to watch endless repeats of Saturday night family TV.

My law will free adults of their responsbilities for a day, remove the persistent nagging in their head and allow them to revert to childhood. Throw tantrums and food, stomp in puddles, lie about in a field staring at the clouds, or create elaborate structures from nothing but dirt and twigs. My subjects would worship me, and I’d get to have one day eating nothing but marshmallows.

wibblywobbly ~ wibblywobbly ~ wibblywobbly

This idea, the law, not my sudden ascension to becoming grand poobah, leader of etc etc (although, why not?) came to me the other morning as we were driving into work through the sleet and snow. The weather had changed suddenly and as soon as the first flakes appeared I immediately started thinking about the driving conditions and that I’d maybe have to scrap the ice off the car later on and how the journey home could, if it kept snowing, be a royal pain in the arse, and so on and on…

The thing is, I can still (just) remember a time when all it took was a single snowflake to flutter down from the sky to illicit a single thought, in a distinctly pavlovian manner, from my brain. SLEDGE!

I miss those days. I want them back. Hence the “when I am grand poobah… new law… etc etc”.

Who’s with me?

Come on, let’s start a revolution. Don’t you miss quaffing entire Sherbert Fountains in one go? Playing catch with a tennis ball for hours on end? Spending entire afternoons exploring the local burn?

Voyeur

Wednesday, January 23, 2008 ~ 8 Comments

It’s a little over one year since a changed jobs and I’ve loved every minute. I do miss one thing about the old place though, aside from the (most of) the people of course, the location.

I spent a few years commuting by train into Glasgow city centre, and I must admit I miss the occasional wander and, more specifically, the people-watching opportunities.

Whether observing my fellow commuters, or marvelling at the myriad of shapes, faces, and gestures that issue forth from my fellow (wo)man, I could, and did, spend a little too long sitting in a cafe somewhere, gazing out of the window at the passing parade of everyday people. People everyday.

And of course there was the occasional interaction, a grasped moment, a shared look, the shared experience however trivial.

Apologies for the introspection but you’ll have to blame the lady who was opposite me in the revolving door to our building.

The cafe/restaurant is open to the public and having nipped out a lunchtime, I was re-entering the building as I spotted a couple leaving the cafe, walking towards the revolving door and, by my calculations, who were destined to meet it at the same time as I.

I was right. As I put my hand out to starting pushing from my side, so the gentleman on the other side did the same (leaving the lady behind him, whatever happened to chivalry!). As the door slowly rotated, she was left with a decision. Whether to squeeze in alongside him or what for the next gap. She decide to squeeze through the closing gap, and as I glanced across she looked across at me and gave me a little smile.

All of this happened in a split second of course, but that smile conveyed so much, acknowledging the lateness of her decision, and that she almost got caught in the door. The guy in front of her didn’t see this.

It was a silly little moment, shared between two strangers, never to be repeated again. But it made me smile.

I find human nature fascinating, and it’s little moments like this that can give you a little lift for the rest of the day.

Contrary

Monday, January 7, 2008 ~ 9 Comments

Back to work in the morning and I’m quite looking forward to it, be good to catch up with people, and start the new year with enthusiasm.

Or am I just saying that?

And, even if I am just saying it, is that enough to actually make me believe it?

You see, despite coming across as a fairly happy kinda guy, and whilst I have nothing to complain about in my life, I do tend towards morosity (if that’s a word), pessimism, cynicism and down right dour-facedness. It’s just that I tend to keep that part of me bottled up.

In fact, I am so conscious of the fact that I tend to over-compensate and that leads to my current state of mind where I find myself managing to affect my thinking simply by suggesting what I want it to dwell on.

So, instead of pondering the awfulness that is my first 6am rise in just over 2 weeks, I am focussing on what I have to get done in the next week and wondering about what other people have been up to, and with that I find myself looking forward to the first few days back in the office.

It’s the same with the whole “Humbug” thing. I’ve been actively fighting that mindset for a couple of years now and have to admit that, last year, I embraced Christmas a whole lot more than I have done previously.

I guess, after going through a (thankfully) short bout of depression several years back, I tend to find the good in situations and people because, if I don’t, I ended up all gloomy and morose. I’m not forcing myself into any sort of false cheeriness or anything, but I do seem able to better control my moods these days.

Although that does mean that I’m in danger of turning into one of those awful people who is constantly cheery about everything, all the time. I went to school with a guy like that, couldn’t stand him.

Anyone else do this kind of thing?

So, that was 2007, was it?

Monday, December 31, 2007 ~ 2 Comments

I’ve always meant to do something like this but never found the time… ohh ok, the inclination, before. Perhaps that’s because it is somewhat overly narcissistic but, well, that’s never stopped me before..

So here is a (skewed) look at the past year, as seen through the eyes of this blog:
(more…)

Do you have the receipt?

Wednesday, December 26, 2007 ~ 13 Comments

So, did you get anything nice? You DID! Ohh you must’ve been very good then.

I got some excellent presents this year, but I have to admit that as time marches my attitude towards Christmas is changing.

I’m fairly agnostic these days, and look upon such Christian-based holidays in a more spiritual sense. Christmas is a time to re-connect with family and close friends, to spend time with loved ones and generally ground yourself before the next helter-skelter year comes along.

The acting of giving and receiving presents is well established but, like many traditions, seems to a little misplaced these days. After all, in our current society where anyone with a reasonable income can afford everything they need, and a lot of things they don’t, then any gift is either very specific, or generic enough that it becomes one more item in a cupboard or wardrobe.

That sounds mean. It’s not supposed to be, and I know that most people put a lot of thought and effort into their gift buying, all of which is very much appreciated, and it is genuinely exciting to open a present that has been chosen especially, but there surely must be a limit of the amount of stuff one can own.

I am seriously considering asking for donations to charity for next year.

Hey, I said considering, I’m not actually going to do it… am I??

Anyway, I’m sure you got a present or two that you aren’t really that fond of… go on, spill the beans… I’ll even let you comment anonymously (use a false name, your email address isn’t displayed).

If I get enough comments I’ll give you the gory details of the wonderous present I got from my in-laws one year…

Where do we go from here?

Friday, December 14, 2007 ~ 6 Comments

MP3, USB, JPEG, some factors of our technological life are now “standard”. If I get a new gadget and it doesn’t have a USB connection or USB power cable then.. well actually, I probably wouldn’t buy it if it didn’t so that’s a bit of a moot point.

I’ve mentioned before that I’m slowly ripping all my CDs to MP3 (the CDs are now out of the living room and piled 20 high, 3 deep on my desk, which is progress of sorts) and it wasn’t a decision I took all that lightly. Admittedly the bulk of my new music is already in that format and as MP3 is supported widely then it should be OK in the future. Right?

JPEG appears to be safe as well. Every digital camera uses it and it does what it does well enough for the masses.

Ohh and yes, before anyone points out, I KNOW that there are better formats for storing music and photos but ultimately the loss of quality between a 256kbs MP3 and any of the lossless formats is beyond anything I can really detect, and the same goes for JPEG vs RAW images for MY purposes.

Those issues aside I do worry a little about losing these things to the vagaries of time, an issue to which the Kindle from Amazon - an electronic book reader - adds another dimension. One which, for some reason, has me very concerned about where this is all heading.

For some reason, whilst I’m not happy about the prospect, I am resigned to the fact that I may lose copies of photos and tracks. I am reasonably diligent when backing up, but if the worst happens, and I lose both my main hard drive AND my backup drive, then yeah, I’m stuffed. I have considered burning the really valuable stuff onto DVD but that’s way down the “I really should but I just can’t be chuffing bothered” path (a path strewn with many other best intentions and forgotten endeavours).

I’m not entirely sure there is an answer for this. Yes I could return to buying CDs rather than MP3 tracks, but at the rate I consume music the issue of physical space trumps any notion of always having a physical copy. And I can’t do that with photos anyway so I’m still at the whim of various hard drives.

I guess I could invest in a backup for my backup but even then it’s just another thing in the chain that could and, eventually will, fail.

What does all this mean? Well, I’m not entirely sure. Advances in technology means that the vast majority of hard drives can be considered trustworthy and unlikely to fail within a few years of usage (I’ve got two from my old PC which still work quite happily, which reminds me to get an enclosure or something for them).

However, technical issues aside, I’m also wondering if we have become a society where nothing really has value. Everything is replaceable, and we are encouraged to bin the old and buy new. If I did lose all my MP3s then I COULD replace them (at cost). So what’s the big deal? I’d only replace the ones I really missed so it might be a good way to start over and avoid all the dross.

Alas the same can’t be said of photos. Losing them loses the associated memories and emotions, the thoughts and feelings experience can’t be lost but they do dim over time, not forgotten but filed away in the distant recess of my mind. Viewing old photos brings them rushing back into the light, dusted down and ready to relived.

If I lost that there is no price that would can be paid, no way back.

Bloody hell, that’s a scary thought. Guess what I’ll be doing tonight!!

Stress is a wonderful thing

Monday, December 3, 2007 ~ No Comments

Nearing the end of a project is always a stressful time. Regardless of the best plans, contingency and prayers, things always end up tight at this point. That’s when the stress kicks in.

I actually revel in this kind of work, doing my best stuff under pressure, with no time to ponder I make decisions with conviction and plough onwards. There is also a subtle effect on other areas.

I’m usually working long hours at this point, and so end up a little run-down, narky and tired. Emotions of all kinds are quick to the surface and over the years I’ve started to focus more on them than any impending doom scenarios that are building elsewhere. I should point out that I work in the software industry so, in most cases, missing a deadline is bad for business but no-one loses a life, it’s not the end of the world, so whilst I do get stressed there is a point where I realise I’m getting stressed and I just… well… stop getting stressed. Hard to explain and it took some amount of time to get it sorted in my head.

Anyway, whilst I’m in this zone I try and focus on the positives and one always comes shining through. Louise. She knows how to handle me at times like these, and it makes me appreciate her all the more.

In addition, with emotions wrought and wrangled and because I often resort to headphones to get the last minute of “do not disturb me” time out of the day, I find the oddest songs can develop a strange resonance and catapult themselves into my internally kept list of favourite tracks. Such tracks literally give me goosebumps. Whack on Nothing Else Matters by Metallica and when that guitar solo kicks in… yup, goosebumps.

Sticking with the rock theme, for I cannot lie I do like my rock music, the current song achieving similar levels is the oddly repetitive yet wonderful anthemic Come Alive from the Foo Fighters. Not only does it seem to musically hit the right notes, lyrically it brings me full circle back to the centre of my life, my darling wife. Odd that.

I just wish I could play it just a little bit louder (but I’m quite considerate when using headphones).

Anyone else get this with certain tracks? Just me?