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Now I’m here

Ohh original… using a Queen song for the title…

But that’s the thing, I’m not here often, not writing, not capturing my thoughts for all to see. In fact I hardly write much of anything at all. No time at work (cos, you know, I’m Working) and no time at home (cos, you know, I’m working).

Most of the time it doesn’t bother me, I don’t MISS writing for this blog, I still write for my other “professional” blog but have had little to no inspiration for that other place where I tell tales, or to put it more accurately, I post all the waffly, badly written prose that I pretend is me being creative.

But then, sometimes, I think I’d quite like to take a couple of hours to just write. No interruptions, no deadlines, no expectations, because when I’ve tried to force myself to write something (aka Blogger’s guilt) it ends up being forced, rushed and looking back at some of those posts I wonder why I published them. But hey, published and be damned, and all that.

This blog has never had a real focus so it’s easy to let it drift, easy to find excuses as to why I don’t.

But then, why do I need an excuse?

Hmmm, this is turning into one of those “why do I blog? why should I blog? my blog is for me, screw you!” style musings. Which, for me, is interesting as I wasn’t sure what I was going to write but, for you, I’d imagine, dear reader, is more than a little tedious and… why are you still reading?

This blog is a diary. I have, and will continue to, use it to capture events in my life. Mostly because I have a shocking memory, but also because I like to write. I enjoy words, less so grammar (never been one for rules), and find the act of relaxing into a writing ‘zone’ very soothing. Almost regardless of what I’m writing about.

And now, I’m here.

At the end of this post.




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What I don’t write about

Every now and then I get a notion to write about something that irks me, a point of view or statement made by someone else that doesn’t sit quite right with me.

I’ll fire up notepad, create a new blank file, and start typing in an effort to coral both my thoughts and the random words spewing from my head. Inevitably I give up.

Why? Because so much of what I read these days is so badly informed that arguing against it is pointless, or is written by someone who won’t even consider the fact that they might not be 100% on the money, or seems to be written using statements that other people take to be absolutes.

It’s the “absolutes” that really annoy me.

Taking a statement with the presumption that it is complete and full encapsulation of an opinion is very short-sighted, and the usual follow on from that is to presume that you are also in complete opposition with the differing point of view.

So “I like the colour blue” suddenly becomes “I like every colour that is a possible shade of blue” and is extrapolated into “therefore you must hate red”.

So I don’t write those types of things anymore. Not that I wrote all that many of them in the first place but in my continuing quest to avoid negativity wherever I can, I choose not to write about that stuff.

I choose not to write about a lot of other stuff too but that’s for entirely different reasons.




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Change of scenery

Having a few days off, I had it in the back of my mind to do some writing. Nothing particularly serious but just to write and see what happened.

The problem I had was getting rid of distractions. If I sit at my desk, then there is always a wee pile of things to get done, various notes and other detritus to distract my attention … ohh that reminds, I need to order a replacement bank card, ack! see how easy it is.

I use programs like Q10 (for the PC) and WriteRoom (for the Mac) to help remove onscreen distractions, but I realised I need a cleaner physical space as well.

Until such times as I can completely clear out my ‘office’, I decided to relocate to the living room, and sit with the laptop at dining table. No distractions there, well not once I’d gotten rid of the ever curious cat.

And, a couple of hours later I sat back and metaphorically patted myself on the back, having written a couple of ‘chapters’ for that writing website of mine, as well as a couple of posts that just need a final edit before they can go up on my other blog.

I also felt a good deal more relaxed having gotten that particular monkey off my back, and I’ve got plans tomorrow to really gut my office space so I can achieve similar results in the future.

Now, where did I put the bin bags?




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NaNoWriMo? No!

I’d love to.

I really would.

Every year that rolls around finds me considering it.

Every year I start to jot down notes (where do you think one man tales came from?).

Every year I visit the website, and get excited at the thought.

Every year I think, yeah I COULD do that.

Every year I think, maybe I SHOULD do that.

Every year I think, maybe that’s just what I need.

Every year I think, yes, this is the year. I will do it!

But I won’t.

Not this year.

I just don’t have the time (such a lame excuse, really).

Even if I was to promise myself to MAKE the time.

I wouldn’t.

I SHOULD.

If it really meant that much to me I would.

But I won’t.

Maybe next year.

Maybe.

Will you?




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One Man Tales

“Once upon a time”, it says, in that time honoured tradition of old and so our story begins.

The story tells the tale of a man making his way through life. The man meanders his way along the path of his choosing, though he is only occasionally aware that he chose it, and most of the time his travels are accompanied by a sense of carefree naivety which he happily acknowledges but secretly and quietly despises.

In this tale we learn about the man, or at least the parts of his life that are featured. We learn about his troubles, his happiness, his moments of madness and fragments of beauty. We read odd glimpses that make no sense, and delve into the infinite detail of his soul. The tale has no direction to speak of nor does it care where it is headed for this, like many other tales, does not yet know when, where, or how it will end.

The threads of construction weave tightly, characters come and characters go, and all the while the man of the story maintains. Occasionally we are allowed glimpses of what the man thinks, and the narrative arc builds and ebbs, constantly teasing us with snippets of truth, spiderweb strands of life.

The man invites you to join him in the story but warns you that even he, the main character, is unsure of what you may find. He offers no explanation or reasoning of what may unfold, and he certainly doesn’t consider his story an interesting one. All he knows is that, apparently, he is one man who is driven to tell tales.

And, with a doff of his cap, he humbly asks you to join him.

In other words, I’ve launched a new blog, this one dedicated to the more fictional writing that I occasionally post here. I’ve copied all of the posts that are listed in the Writing category here, over to the new website.




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Rebuilding the man

Slowly he breaks down, carefully deconstructed. The sum of these parts he is not, nor is he whole without them. He is apart and incomplete, still searching for something unknown and out of reach. He is content and sated for now, happy with what he has, disillusionment hovering out of sight.

Childlike he studies each piece, wonder creases his face as he tumbles the shapes between his fingers, marvelling at curves and crevices, skin catching on ripped edges. Gently he places them back down, carefully, orderly and correct.

Each piece tells a story, some laugh merrily, others are inconsolable behind heaves and sobs. Some shriek and wail, others tra-la-la to an unknown tune with a familiar chorus. Some lie dormant as their time has passed, yet their role does not diminish. The naked structure gapes and glares, absorbing them all.

The pieces shimmer and shake, languid in their motion, certain in their reason, and knowing they too will return to their rightful place. None will be left behind, none will float away on the tide of change, they will be reborne and reconsidered, polished and primed.

His thoughts turn elsewhere, the light bends, dazzling and brilliant, and the newest pieces of him are borne, joining the other pieces before him, sliding into place as if they’ve been there all along. Happy and content he can rebuild.

He turns his thoughts to the task at hand and the air crackles as the energy builds. One by one, the pieces start their journey, each is paused for a second, a final inspection, a last glimpse of the separation and purpose, before once again being consumed. The structure slowly fills, orderly and considered, the new jostling with the old.

Some time later he sits on the bed. Quietly contemplative of himself. Each part of him nestles in place, content and happy, complete.




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Writers’ Bloc

It is somewhat timely that, as Post of the Week has died a death (lack of interest, unfortunately), another website that focusses on good writing has been born, Writers’ Bloc.

It’s still new and shiny, but like most of these things it will live and die by the likes of you and I, and your friends, visiting and contributing. On that note the submission guidelines are nice and friendly:

With a title like Writers’ Bloc – even though it’s a dreadful pun on suffering from a lack of inspiration – it would be mean-spirited to insist that your work should not have been appeared anywhere else online or in print before it reaches us. We don’t care about that, and in fact we tend to loathe that rule of literary magazines, especially if they’re all about ‘discovering the best new writing’. All we ask is that you retained the original copyright, since we don’t want to tread on anyone’s toes.

So go and have a look and, if you have ever written something that you feel deserved (demanded!) a wider audience then perhaps consider submitting it, what harm can it do?




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